The “M” on Marine products stands for “Money”

If you had a sadistic sense of humor, it would be fun to hide in the landscaping at a boat dealership and listen to the cries of the doomed as they got their boat repair bills. Their wallet would actually be what was doomed, to be specific. This does explain a few things, however.

When I bought my boat, the big 27 footer, several people acted very distraught. “What’s the big deal”, I asked them. After all, “I spent more money on charters this year then I did this boat, and next year I won’t need to spend a nickel on charters to catch fish.” At this statement, they would seem to convulse and abandon the conversation. But now it makes sense. The problem with buying a boat, is that purchasing a boat is somewhat of an illusion. It is kind of like purchasing a building permit for a house, if you live in a Gestapo type police state that requires such things. The permit is only the beginning-next comes the real money. It also explains why fish charter trips are so expensive.

But I admit boat dealers have their place. For example, I was getting water in the oil of my 35o Chevy boat engine. If you search this problem on the Internet,  the only results you get are “cracked engine block”. Which is bad, really bad. The idea that I had just hauled a 27 foot boat with a bad engine, across the expanse of the North American continent, caused no small anguish in my mind.

However, when I called the boat dealer he just chuckled. “Sounds like a bad exhaust manifold” he said. So I took the exhaust manifolds off the boat engine and took them in. He tested them out, and sure enough, the one manifold had a bad elbow that was leaking. Marine engines have a water jacked on the exhaust manifold, and this was the problem. He offered me a part for $15o and proceeded to put the manifolds back together (but I still needed to install them on the boat engine). “What a kind fellow” I thought. Then I got the bill. $450! Wow! That included some labor, gaskets, and a few other odds and ends. This explained another of life’s mysteries. Those guys standing on street corners holding cardboard signs, they probably took their boat in for repairs. That’s about the only thing I can think of that would make you so broke you would beg for money.

A small tip, if you purchase your boat parts at a regular auto parts store, remember to be quiet about what you are using them for. Otherwise the clerk will probably frown, and double the price of the part you are buying. Maybe I’ll name my boat “The Old Suburban” so if a clerk asks what the part is for, I’ll just say, oh “The Old Suburban”.